I had a text waiting for me when I got out of the screening of Bill Condon’s big-screen adaptation of the Broadway musical, Kiss of the Spider Woman.
Text: Can Diego Luna sing?
My reply: It doesn’t matter. 🙁
Warning: The Broadway musical Kiss of the Spider Woman is one of my favorite musicals of all time, so I’m quite protective it.
I never expected the musical to receive a big-screen adaptation, though…especially after Rob Marshall borrowed much of its storytelling concept for his movie version of Chicago.
Here are my scattered thoughts on the Kiss of the Spider Woman movie.
Let’s get the unfortunate news out of the way first. They cut “The Day After That.”
And most of the other prison songs.
Unforgivable.
It’s not a bad adaptation….parts of it are very good.
It’s just a safe adaptation, and that part disappointed me.
It’s like they didn’t trust audiences not to giggle when people broke out in song so they wimped out and limited the song and dance to Aurora’s movie within the movie.
And like I said, that’s…safe.
Disappointing.
The only unintentional snickers this movie received was when Ben Affleck’s name flashed on screen as one of the movie’s producers. You know…because of the whole short marriage thing.
With the exception of a beautiful, bilingual version of “Dear One,” all the prison songs are gone. Poof! Absent! No more!
So….why bother making a musical at all?
The non-musical story was already told in the 1985 film version starring William Hurt and Raul Julia.
The original Broadway musical had a fantastic score. The prison songs and Aurora songs complemented each other beautifully for a perfect balance of reality and fantasy that made for a thrilling night at the theater.
The three stars….
Jennifer Lopez is a blonde for most of the movie. Superficial comment: my husband wasn’t a fan of the color on her. Anyway, Lopez is gorgeous and looks like a genuine movie star. She sings decently, acts well, and dances up a storm in the movie sequences. The theater burst into spontaneous applause after one particularly exhilarating dance sequence in “Where You Are.”
Did I mention that the prison songs are gone?
It was devastating to hear Valentin’s dialogue that led into “The Day After That” on stage only for…. the song to be cut in the movie.
Me in the theater.
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The good news is that Diego Luna and newcomer Tonatiuh are excellent in their roles as Valentin and Molina, respectively. I expect the latter will have a nice film career after Spider Woman hits theaters, and Luna will continue to thrive in his career.
In fact, the Valentin and Molina relationship is my favorite part of the movie. The transition of their relationship from strangers to cautious friends to lovers is believable and quite moving….giving the story its heart.
But they cut the prison songs.
Why, oh why?
For years, I’ve been telling my young, musical-theater-loving-daughter that the Broadway production of Kiss of the Spider Woman was my favorite theatrical experience of my life.
I couldn’t wait to share the musical with her.
“You’ll love it,” I’ve told her over the years.
“I can’t wait!” she always replies.
So we have been waiting impatiently for a big revival to happen.
But nothing.
Then the movie was announced, and I was thrilled….cautiously….because musicals haven’t always jumped successfully to the big screen.
But when I called my daughter after the screening let out, she asked me excitedly what I thought about the movie.
I replied, “Parts of it were very good.”
“Will I like it?” she asked.
And my first thought was… I’ve raved about this show for years.I don’t want this movie to be her introduction to the musical…because it’s only half of the musical.
“Let’s wait for a major stage revival.” I told her.
Like I said, these were my scattered thoughts.